How to DNF and still end up on a podium

In case you missed it, I made my grand return to stage rally this last week with my best buddy KJ riding in the co-driver seat.

It was great.

It was also awful.

But I think they say “that’s rally!” which is unfathomably irritating. And wildly cliche. 

But hey.. That’s rally.

When most people hear we went rallying, they assume we were back in a Subaru, maybe we borrowed Chad’s sick Evo, hell maybe a BMW even!

But they would forget that my first name is Texas.

So we went rallying in a 2005 Chevrolet Colorado. Hell yeah, brother.

Even better, it ain’t Larry the pool cleaner’s Chevy Colorado.

Our Colorado has a 500 hp LS2 out of a C6 Corvette. And an 8-speed automatic transmission out of a Hellcat.

To be honest, the whole thing is a terrible idea. Like a bona fide, legitimate, no excuses bad. Idea.

And it was the most fun weekend of my life. Well, except for when we melted the wiring harness.

And smashed the front end landing over a big jump and broke the power steering hard line.

No sweat, we just crossed the border to Kentucky and picked one out of 1/9th of a 2008 Colorado frame buried in some Poison Sumac at Sperry Auto Parts (shout out to my boy Talon)

And there was the time that the brakes failed.

And then when they failed again.

But otherwise, it was.. 

Oh and the overheating. That sucked, too.

But luckily we got all of those sorted, and despite DNF’ing on day 1 to fix the brakes, we rejoined the rally that afternoon and got it through day 2 with the litany of aforementioned sauce retention and thermal range deficiencies.

And after a very, very long week, and very tired arms from wrestling more than double the amount of power we could ever hope to use, something magic happened.

Turns out rallying is hard.

And just about the whole rest of the field had a similarly dramatic time.

Aoife whacked a culvert so hard it broke her brake rotor in half. She limped it back fully missing the rotor and the brake line pinched shut.

Patrick and Sean each also clipped different culverts and did their best impressions of a Maytag on tumble dry.. Luckily both walked away with good memes to show for it and only 6 figure repair bills.

The point is, we kept in the gas (because it sounds insane at wide open throttle, you can’t help it) and we managed to finish.

And as things tend to happen in rallying, to finish 1st, first you must finish.

This time, we didn’t manage 1st.

But we did manage 3rd!

And that sure as hell felt like a win.

Because anytime you show up with a landscaping truck to a rally car fight, being anywhere near the podium is a win.

But much more important - after 4 years of being friends, working together, launching our rear window 10’ up into an uprooted Maple tree after crashing quite violently in 2022, and laughing through many other non-rally car adventures, it was the first time KJ and I finished a rally together.

And that was worth at least twice as much as the $27 trophies we got to show for it.

Maybe even three times as much. 

This week was a reminder of why I love rallying so much. And it felt, for the first time since I was a teenager at my first rally, like I was back to basics, in a car that wasn’t supposed to win, and that any finish would be a win.

And it was a reminder that rallying is the best people on earth. A bunch of dirty rotten enablers who normalize this kind of ridiculous and silly behavior, and love you through your bizarre idea to go rallying in a pick em’ up truck.

So cheers to everyone who helped us get there - and cheers to you for reading yet another stream of consciousness story time with Dave.

The truck will be at The Rally Ranch for the rest of the summer, but I may be competing out and about in some other cars.. But more about that later.

Come hang with us this summer and see the Colorado in person, you can probably twist my arm into taking you for a hot lap in it if I’m in town. Lord’s work and all.

There is also a significantly more profanity-laced version of this story only available in person and over a bubbly water on the porch of the ranch house.. So hit reply and say “Josh, lemme get a rip in the RADo” and schedule some time at the ranch with us this summer.

And fear not, we keep 500 lbs of ice on deck and cool shirts jamming all summer so it’s icy cool in the driver seat. Honestly, summer is I think the most ideal time for shreds.

Plus there’s popsicles.

See ya real soon like, I reckon.

Love always,

TD

 

Thu Jun 18